GET TO KNOW BEN

http://kalman.blogs.nytimes.com/

SNUGGIE FOR DOGS IS HERE!

https://www.snuggiefordogs.com/flare/next

THE JOAN RIVERS ROAST - COMING TO COMEDY CENTRAL 8/9

JOAN Rivers has had endless plastic surgeries, and her fellow comics didn't let her forget it during a Comedy Central roast in LA the other night, The Post's Mandy Stadtmiller reports. "You're like Robo-Cop, you're half-human and nobody's given a [bleep] about you since 1986," Greg Giraldo told Rivers. "You actually have a lot in common with Michael Jackson. You both spent thousands of dollars to look like the Crypt Keeper. You're both more popular now that you're dead."

Jeffrey Ross continued: "Joan had a difficult choice to make, whether to do this roast or be the fifth celebrity to die this month . . . Who's your plastic surgeon? Tim Burton? Oh my God, Kanye's mom had a better plastic surgeon. Look at her, she's a cougar. Freddy Cougar!" And quipped Brad Garrett, "Joan has [bleep]ed more old Jews than Bernie Madoff."

Tom Arnold cracked on Rivers' late husband, who took his own life 12 years ago. "Joan can be a bit of a perfectionist," Arnold said. "When she read her husband's suicide note, she sent it back for a rewrite."

He continued, "Say what you want about Joan Rivers, but she's an icon and a real diva, which by the way is what they call a c--t when she's still sitting in the room."

Even buttoned-up Donald Trump got in on the raunchy. In a videotaped message, the Apprentice boss said he was happy to announce his most ambitious project: "The Joan Rivers Facial and Body Renovation."

"I promise you that no expense will be spared in your reconstruction," The Donald said. "We'll tent you, fumigate you and, if necessary, send in a Hazmat team to remove all the hazardous material in that toxic pool you call...a vagina!"

HAW HAW

http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2009/07/23/the-infamous-pider-drawing/

Never Forget

Jade Ravyn Meier has ARRIVED!

My newest best friend is finally here!

LOST

This video is first installment in "Mysteries of the Universe: The Dharma Initiative," an episode of a short-lived (not to mention, fake) documentary series that aired on ABC in the 1980s. The episode will be revealed in clips on ABC.com over the coming weeks. Speculation is that season six of Lost will have little or nothing to do with the Dharma Initiative, so any additional info we get about the group will probably be released via these web shorts.

As for the full, SPOILERIFIC scoop on the Lost Comic-Con panel...here it is, courtesy of eonline.com. Not included here is the revelation that Boone will also be returning next season. IT'S ON, BITCHES!

SEASON SIX

• Season six of Lost will be reminiscent of season one in that there will be a lot of running through the jungle and emotional development for the characters.

• The marketing graphic for Lost season six included all our favorite characters (heralding the return of many of them) but the important thing is that the last character added to the animation was Locke, and he was very obviously facing backward, while all the other characters were facing forward. Ahhh, Unlocke!

• According to Carlton the time-travel season is over and the flash-forward season is over and they're moving on to something altogether different for season six.

• According to Josh Holloway in the press room, Sawyer will be destroyed by the tragedy of Juliet, pushing him back towards his original, more "salty" character. He'll still carry around season' five's character growth, but he'll be rejecting it. He also told us (and forgive the gross paraphrase-on-the-run): Functional relationships (Suliet) don't make for good drama. Skate is better TV.

CHARACTERS

• The extensive backstory of Richard Alpert (Nestor Carbonell) will be explored in season six.

• Dominic Monaghan was introduced to the crowd following an In Memoriam montage of all the dead characters (in which it was revealed that Libby's last name is Smith). We can assume a return for Charlie is all but guaranteed.

• As we learned earlier this summer, Elizabeth Mitchell will appear on Lost in season six. According to Damon, her survival is contigent upon Jack's plan working.

• Jeremy Davies will appear as Daniel Faraday in Lost season six.

ALTERNATE TIMELINES

• According to a clip from America's Most Wanted, Kate Austen did not in fact kill her stepfather in an explosion, but she killed his employee, a plumber's assistant, instead. Have we wandered into alternate-timeline territory? And could that timeline possibly start before the crash of Oceanic 815? Two other videos that hinted at an alternate timeline were Mr. Cluck's (starring CEO Hugo Reyes) and an Oceanic Airlines commercial that said they've never had a crash...

• Another nod to alternate timelines was a funny fake video clip of Michael Emerson auditioning to play Hurley in 2004 wearing a bandana and cargo shorts.

Meet The New Boomtown Rats

These are the most amazing rats you will ever see.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2550996/Pet-rats-pose-with-range-of-musical-instruments.html

Sick Santana Show

Check out Baaaaabara!

With little miss cupcake Kaitlyn!

30 Media Muggles and their Harry Potter Counterparts

Pretty well done.
For instance:
Chris Matthews: Mad-Eye Moody

http://www.mediaite.com/online/media-muggles-harry-potter/

ATTN: TEAM NEWTOWN

The new Goodnoes is open for biz, babies.
http://www.phillyburbs.com/news/local/courier_times/courier_times_news_details/article/28/2009/july/21/favorite-makes-sweet-return.html

Rest In Peace, Taco Bell Beast

Hope you're gorging on gorditas in heaven. With Michael Jackson.

Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight?

Too Real

Hey Renaissance Fans

Check out my very own dad's blog for pictures of the 4th Annual Reception and Concert that they host around everyone's favorite pool in Chappaqua.
XO
http://www.renaissance-ems.blogspot.com/

R.I.P. Walter Cronkite

SHEER GENIUS

BROKEBACK TO THE FUTURE


Thanks, Harvard Joe! I'm laughing out loud.

The Best Albums Of 2009 (So Far) - News Story | Music, Celebrity, Artist News | MTV News

The Best Albums Of 2009 (So Far) - News Story | Music, Celebrity, Artist News | MTV News

Posted using ShareThis

$240 Worth Of Pudding

$240 Worth of Pudding - watch more funny videos

BA-RACK, BA-RACK

REGGAE + OBAMA = AMAZING

Andy Rooney Fruit Report

Watch CBS Videos Online

Udon Cheadle

Ben and his brilliant friends came up with a fantastic new game. Take a celebrity's name and somehow make it food related.



So far, Udon Cheadle takes the cake

Feel free to add to the list…

Joaquinoa Phoenix
Spaghetti Vedder
Billy Crystal Lite
Marisa Tomei-to Sauce
Robert Downey Carl’s Jr.
Nicolas Cage-un Catfish
Jessica Alba-Core Tuna

Coming In September

Get It, Barack!

HAPPY WEEKEND

Seeing that this weekend is going to PALE in comparison to LAST weekend, here's a little something to take away the pain.



MAGIC MEL'S LEMONADE MOJITO RECIPE
In a large bowl muddle 1/2 cup mint leaves with sugar syrup (see below). Stir in 5 cups club soda, 4 cups vodka, 4 cups fresh lemon juice, and 2/3 cup superfine sugar. Chill. Pour into ice filled pitchers with lemon rounds and mint sprigs, serve in tall glasses.

Sugar Syrup: Heat 1 cup sugar and 1 cup water over low heat, stirring with wooden spoon until sugar has dissolved. Stop stirring and increase heat to medium. Simmer 2 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool; refrigerate 2 hours before using.

Serves 20

Nicely Done

Thanks, Jack Ace

MAZEL TOV, GLENN & LISA

GLENN: Hey, hey hey baby! I want to know if you'll be my girl?

LISA: YES!

ROSSI: We're goin' back to Pittsburgh!

Coming Soon To A Theater Near You!

Photo Credit: The One & Only Colleen Steixner

In a world where black is white, and night is day...
He came to save us all.
The question is...who will save him?

Don Cheadle
IS
Chris Kelly
AS
Jesus Christ
AT
Vagina Lake
IN

CHRIS KELLY: The Movie

Also Starring:
Queen Latifah as Melissa Kelly
Tim Kelly as Bob Hayes
And introducing Bob Hayes as Tim Kelly

18 Hours

Lost's Jorge Garcia at TAO Nightclub in Las Vegas


From The Hollywood Reporter...

June 30, 2009
Final 'Lost' season gains an hour
We all know that on ABC's "Lost," time is extremely relative.

So why not throw an extra hour into the mix?

The sixth and final season will run 18 hours, an hour longer than originally announced. This isn't exactly earth-shattering news, granted, but for "Lost" fans heading into the final lap, every minute counts.

Though the reason for the extra time hasn't been confirmed, one insider said that the producers felt they had some extra story to tell in the final season. "Lost" starts shooting later this summer.

It's Time To Set It Off, Vermont

Photo Credit: FMB

Ain't nothin' for me to come through and shut the club down. Especially if that club is Hardbodies.

Amazing Live

Saw these guys live last night in Central Park and they did not disappoint.

Click here to download one of their live shows and chillllll out.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=8073247